Mother's Day

Last week was pretty good, well, as good as you can get for being in a hospital. I finished the last bag of chemo on Thursday in the middle of the night, and that was a reason to celebrate. Being attached to the chemo is annoying. Since each bag lasts 24 hours, they are strategically timed for you to be finished in 7 days. There were some times where I had to be unhooked for a shower (which they don't like to do) or when I had to go for testing on another floor. I started the chemo on a Thursday at 3pm and technically finished on a Friday at 3am. I must have taken too long in the shower!

My in-law's flew in from Ireland on Wednesday to see Ryan and I. While we were kind of stuck in my room, it was so nice to see them and to have their support. We were able to talk and have normal conversations, and that was nice. They brought many gifts from family, Ryan and I are so grateful for everyone's thoughtfulness. I'm excited for them to come back once the baby is born. 

On Thursday, which was my last day of chemo, I got a beautiful surprise from the nurses. They had arranged a surprise for me to get my nails done. I was so surprised and grateful. For a few hours, it actually made me feel a little normal again. A nail technician came in and did a special manicure and pedicure. Since my platelets and white blood cells are very low, I couldn't get my nails or cuticles cut, but she still managed to make them look and feel pretty. I walked around the floor afterwards and showed off my nails and everyone was so excited for me.

Sunday was Mother's Day, which was also really nice. My parents and in-laws were here and we were able to spend some time together. My mom brought cookies for the nurses and they were really appreciative as well as a card for me. Ryan also gave me a very sweet card. The PA's gave me a cute gift bag filled with nice beauty products like lip balms and face masks. One of my doctors set up that I would receive special meals from the restaurant upstairs, I had bacon and eggs and even steak for dinner! All these little things made me feel really good and normal, I'm so appreciative.

On Monday (26 weeks), I had a sonogram. On sonogram days I get a wheelchair over to the Maternal Fetal Medicine section and get checked out. The technician was doing her scan and Ryan and I were watching on the screen. The baby was moving around a lot, which I have been feeling very strongly for the last week or so. The kicks have been so strong that my stomach moves and they can be felt from the outside, so exciting! (and reassuring :) ) While I was getting the sonogram, the technician said it was early for a 3D image, but she tried anyway. On the first try, she got a picture of the baby's face and she was SMILING! I couldn't believe it. I'm going to take that as her way of telling mom and dad that she's okay. Always looking for that silver lining.

I try to keep these blogs positive, but also honest. For the last few days, its been getting harder and harder to even get out of bed. They said that the two weeks after the last day of chemo would be the worst, and I'm starting to see it. Today especially, my mood just isn't there. I have an itchy and ugly drug rash from one of the many antibiotics I'm on, my PICC line is bothering me, and I'm just so over everything. This is definitely the hardest thing I've ever done and in my life, and hopefully will ever have to do.

There has been some talk lately about doing a stem cell transplant after the second round of chemo, if we are able to find a perfect match. In my situation, this disease can be cured through chemotherapy alone, but I could have a better chance of a cure, or not relapsing and a shorter hospital stay if I were to try a stem cell transplant. There are some risks associated, like my body rejecting the stem cells, but the doctor assured me that they would only do it if they found a perfect match. Statistically, siblings have the best chance of matching. I'm appreciative that both of my brothers agreed to be tested to see if they are a match, the results will be back in about two weeks. If they do not match, we will go to the bank. In the bank, people volunteer to be tested to see their type of cells. If it shows that they are a match, they would be asked to donate their cells to help someone in need. If you're interested in joining a bank, you can visit https://bethematch.org/ to find out more information and  where and how you can donate.  Also, blood and platelet transfusions are huge, I get them everyday, sometimes twice. If you're interested in donating, visit http://nybloodcenter.org/

Looking ahead, this is going to be a very long road, about 8 months. I still have about two to three weeks left in this stay, then I'll go home for about a week or two, and come back to have the baby. The baby will be born around 30 weeks, so she will spend some time in the NICU. After I have the baby, I will have about a week to recover and go back in for the second round. There are 4 rounds total, each about month, and they will most likely all be done in the hospital. Since we live so far from the hospital, they need to be done as an inpatient. If I were to get an infection or fever, much like I described in the last post, I would need to be close to the hospital. Seeing how fast things can escalate, its probably the safest place to be. Unfortunately, the baby would not be able to be with me as there are many germs around and it would not be safe for her. I can't help but think about how difficult it will be, but we are also still throwing around other options of places to live to hopefully be able to do the treatment as an outpatient.

Overall, I'm trying my best to stay positive, even though its hard sometimes. As always I am so grateful for the love and support through this process.

Kristin

 Emma Grace McKinley :)

Manicure and Pedicure